Elon went straight-up thug-life on April Fools’ Day, and shared this photo. At some point in every celebrity’s life, no matter how nice they are, they might be pushed to go thug-life. Elon is no different. He has a great sense of humor and over 100K people shared in the laughter. Maybe just a few didn’t laugh.
It’s worth pointing out that he didn’t receive an astronomical amount of educational debt to create his empire. Some academics are jealous of this fact and used their jealousy to justify trying to make him poor. Why not have another intelligent person drawing welfare or being forced into street life. This type of behavior feeds the egos of insecure folks.
Nasty attacks on authentically intelligent scientist needs to end because we are trying to lower our poverty rate. Elon employs over 35,000 people. Even if he didn’t, a person working is better than a person on the street.
College is great, but it’s not supposed to be weaponized. Tech is great, but once again, it should not be weaponized against the innocent or vulnerable.
Now That Elon Musk is officially April-Fools’-Day Poor, we have to start the hazing process.
- We must ruin his reputation by telling everyone that he beat his ex-wife, Talulah, and that he frequently kicked his dog. Everyone knows Elon did not do such a thing, but what does the truth matter anyway?
- Next, everyone at the same time has to go collect their debt and all his children and ex-wives need to jump ship and get what they can get.
- All of his friends must now disappear. Then pretend like they’re broke and tell him to figure it out on his own. “You’ve got the Power Elon, you can do it!” It’s just amazing how everyone becomes a motivational speaker when they don’t want to open their wallets. In Elons case his friends have done a lot for him but we’ll have a little fun with this.
- This is a big one: We have to go back to all his previous rocket launches and landings. Then find something “critically” wrong about each one. “Hurry get to it!”
- It’s time to enlist the prayers of Master Tyrant Tim Tebow. Tell him to pray hard for Elon, and then if something good happens, it clearly came from Tim Tebow, and not God. This isn’t Tim’s doing. This is our idolization issue.
- You can’t just incriminate Elons poverty. We have to drag his dad into it and point out over and over again that he has a child with his stepdaughter. This is extremely important to elude to Elons perverse nature that no one knew about.
- Next, the Dom appears sharing some very saucy photos of Elon, and lands a spot on a major televisions show. Better to give hookers the money than someone who actually changed the world.
- Time for the next level of poverty… We have to make him into a criminal and start to dream up ideas to have him arrested. Surely, there is an app that can help us frame him. Why not go big? Add some false data and plug his kids name into the computer and see how it turns out. Maybe the computer will come up with some outrageous lie that he’s pimping his kids. That will draw out just the right amount of rage. Now we’ve got to enlist the cops after all their life isn’t hell enough. Making the cops pawns is absolutely necessary for the process. Enlisting the right cops for this task is important, because if we choose the wrong cops, they will actually care about him. Caring will ruin our plans to get him to hang himself. Remember the goal is to degrade, dissolve, and make something snap in either direction.
- Skipping towards his door. Ladies and gents it’s time to raid his properties. Even though they are for sale, and we know all the debt he has to pay off. It’s very important that we ruin any chance of him getting back on his feet. Let’s accuse him of being a drug dealer and cut all his furniture up. Then take his Tesla Model 3 down to the compound and charge such a high fee that he can’t get it back. “Oh, no! Elon fails again.”
- Now, we need to run a check into his systems and see if he has spoken to any foreigners, even though Tesla and Space X are connected to several different countries. It’s important to take it up a notch and accuse him of planning terror, or better yet, try to frame him for eliminating another famous person, because of the “rage” of losing his companies.
- Of course we will have to make sure to send press releases to every foreign outlet so the man can’t find a single safe space in the world for his family and children. Next, let’s find a politician to degrade the value and importance of safe spaces.
- Moving on. It’s time to call NASA, the very group that he has a love-hate relationship with, and figure out how to swindle them and pass on all of Elon’s hardwork as their own.
- After that, we’ll release evidence that Elon is clearly an alien. Once we can convince everyone that he’s an alien, then we can get the military (another group abused by us and used as pawns) on our side, and find a way to estrange him because after all, we already have laws in place to manage trans-humans.
- Just maybe. Just maybe… Instead we will take Elon back out of April Fools-Poverty by paying him what he deserves. Then giving Elon the Nobel Prize that he should have received by now.
