Today I got to speak to an older African American man and I was trying to gain some insight from him as a man. I do have a tendency to interview people about topics that often make them uncomfortable.
Good race relations are an important and necessary piece to achieving unity. As an African American woman I very much value learning the view of our original counterparts. He started to speak about the struggles that black men have had for centuries. I agreed with him that there has been many struggles but then I asked him a question… “Why do black men speak down to or even abuse black women?” Keep in mind we were specifically speaking, very candidly about our race. His answer, unfortunately, was one that I’ve heard many times before. He said, “What did the woman do to cause it?” He then continued to talk about the black mans struggle but I brought him back to my original question and I asked him to explain why he believes that he has a right to abuse woman. This man did not want to discuss the fact that he was clearly trying to justify the abuse of black women. He then proceeded to say that if black women date white men that they will not be happy in the end. After this point he was clearly aggravated, almost falling apart at the seams and somewhat threatening.
What he was communicating was that he thinks it’s OK for the black men to date whomever they want, but black women could not. Instead of addressing the issue of abuse of black women he continually breezed over it, like it was nothing.
What I was receiving was that he has a lot of misplaced anger. Black women didn’t cause their enslavement nor did we cause his experiences with discrimination. If anything, black women are the ones who put in the blood, sweat and tears of raising children. In a world where we have to protect our children from discrimination at a substantially higher rate, for a longer extended period of time. We do this in an effort to make sure they don’t become angry men but instead men of intellect and purpose.
I’m hoping that he realizes that all women have value and we can not have a town, state or place in the United States of America where we approve of the mistreatment of any woman. This guy was on the brink of being thrown out, before he walked out because he let his anger control him.
What I would like to see for the minority and African American males in our country is for them to love themselves and to love black women whether they are with them as partners or not. I want them to finally see that they are doctors, lawyers, politicians, Presidents and leaders that have achieved, so much, so they can share the joy of achieving it with the world.
I’d like to resolve this issue of unjustified shooting deaths and imprisonment of minority men based on false pretenses. Also, to see some resolutions to the mistreatment of people in jail. This is nothing new as I have talked about this for many years. Obviously, I prefer more constructive approaches versus the latter.
Then make sure that black people have access to information and workshops on mindfulness, reducing stress and reducing the chances of having violence and poverty in their life.
Also, if you click here you will see my views on College Education of multiracial and black people.
This gentleman needed to be put at ease, while he does hard mental work to confront his fears. I am not out to get him and if he wants respect then he will need to obtain it in a healthy way, that does not include abuse.
Race relations is hard to talk about because it takes a certain level of maturity. The people involved in the conversations have to understand that your questions are not necessarily your personal views. It’s important to not pervert the conversation nor to receive it as me saying all black men are…
Conversations like these are a matter of science and I’ve had several interactions that I’d like to share.
Each of our life experiences are valuable if we are humble enough to receive the message. Once we get the message, it is even more important not to get upset with “The Chosen” messengers.