Sometimes we have a rough few days or even a rough few years. If there is anything that I’ve learned is the more honest and loving you are, the more people who become jealous and try to entrap you.
That or they believe a monopoly of lies that have been thrown their way.
People do seem to try to be more abusive towards kind people. Predators and narcissist actually enjoy trying to ruin innocent people’s lives.
Especially, attractive, intelligent and gifted women because if we won’t have sex with them and we won’t give in to the poverty people intentionally try to force us into; through their actions consciously and unconsciously, they become angry.
If I get into the amount of financial abuse I’ve experienced in my life you’d be shaken.
As a black woman I am suppose to fulfill a stereo-type and when I won’t fulfill it people try to find something else about my character that they can use to degrade me.
Very often people even villanize the discussion of my blackness.
Other women get mad because they part their legs to get what they want, so why shouldn’t I? I’m not saying that I am better than them because I am not. We are simply different. However people often self condemn, when you never asked them too.
I get called all kinds of things liar, proud, arrogant, self centered. I was just called a b$tch tonight by an abusive relative. A black man who should honor black women and not abuse them.
What is disconcerting to me is 75% of the abuse I experience comes from females and black males. Two groups that you’d think would be more helpful, especially given that I advocate for women’s rights, fair treatment and protection. I also advocate for minority males to be offered equal opportunities. I am big on diversity and huge on acceptance but of course being abused can force you to make decisions that you other wise wouldn’t have made. I get it and understand many things of this world. When I walk my walk in life, I know without a doubt their are many who have experienced the same.
For the record, I love all men so their is no self hate here but I do expect them to speak to me like I am a lady and to be kind. This is the expectation all girls and women of the world should have.
Being a good mom means that I have to model the behavior that I expect of my son and my future children. I do not want my son out their sleeping around, catching diseases, getting arrested, doing drugs, or being abusive. I don’t want to wait for him to get in trouble, when I could keep him out of jail from the beginning. Building a better life after getting hit with a record can and has created generational poverty. My son is a very kind and caring young man.
I know that when people are abusive to me that I have to speak. Women have to realize that we are not rats or disobedient for saying, “You’re not allowed to abuse me.” Sometimes we even have to tell other women the same.
This is why when people ask me for help…I help them quickly. I don’t wait for them to say that I am great or to talk about how bad they need me. They do not have to be a certain religion or faith nor do they have to line my pockets or believe my ideologies. We can’t help everyone but we should care because no one deserves abuse.
It’s about caring. It’s about knowing how pain feels and knowing that I can do something to help others even if it is small.
So when I have days where my own relative is calling me a b$tch because my Power scares him.
I reflect on nice letters and references that so many people have given me and it reminds me that even though that person can not see the love that I have to offer the world, that others have seen it, experienced it and acknowledged it.
I’m so thankful for them.
Remember ladies. When a woman is strong sometimes people will subconsciously create situations to make you seem weak. They will actually manufacture problems in your life to illegitimize your power. They will have every resource, every connection, and every opportunity but will fail to do the right thing. Do not fear when people do this instead know that someone else will do the right thing and in the mean time be thankful for the good and blessings that have been sent your way.
Full of joy and appreciation,
Love,
Dana Renee